On Worship.

Valentino, that was the name on the slip of paper that was found in the back pocket of my jeans. Not the side with the wallet but the other side, that has nothing in it, except for the slip of paper I found. Valentino, it was printed in big thick bold letters on a perfectly cut rectangle piece of thick cardboard like paper. I ran the name through my mind and quickly realized I knew of none that matched it. Who or what was this name? Equally so, how did end up in my back pocket? The jeans weren’t new, it was no vendor tag that I knew of, nor had I taken the jeans off around anybody. I begin to think. Maybe one time, while in a crowded shopping mall, a CIA operative being chased by Chinese Assassins bumped into me and slipped the paper into my pocket. Maybe it was a code for some secret operation or maybe it held a tiny Microchip in it with the key to an international crisis on it. Maybe it was the name of a tall, slender, olive skinned, drop dead gorgeous Italian Femme Fatale that I would meet the next day. I did not know, but I knew there was a story here and the possibilities were endless. Yes, this really did happen to me the other day.

Who knows what may develop from it. Now let’s get down to business.

I regret to inform you few who may have come to this site in search of a jovial, uplifting blog entry, that indeed that is not the case this time. This is a serious entry that I have been meaning to write for some time but kept putting it off, that is until a friend of mine, one Scott Higgins, encouraged me to do so. It involves worship and all these cool worship bands running around that have taken Christianity by storm. I am going to make a statement you probably won’t hear much, but one that as I talk to people, I have discovered many others who feel this way as well. Namely, I have a problem with these bands. What it is I am trying to figure out. Writers write not so much to create or to relay ideas but out of a deeply felt need to understand things, both in themselves and in the world as well. So I hope that by writing this it brings to light some revelations about this issue.

I will start with what worship is to me. I am not going to get all exegetical on you and bring in Greek definitions and Biblical syntax about the Bible’s view on worship. That is useless in this exercise; rather, I define it by what it means to me, which is probably where the problem lies.

Worship to me, in short, is telling the Lord how much I love Him in one way or another, or maybe in essence, glorifying Him. In addition to that, worship to me is an incredibly private, deeply personal, and quite often emotional experience that is shared between the Lord and I and no one else. Most of my worship is not done in song, but usually in meditation, prayer, reflection and sometimes writing. It is a profoundly deep thing that escapes words and has little room for others.

Now there is also corporate worship with the body of Christ that we usually do with our fellow believers in church, camps or other such things. I have to admit, I have always had trouble “getting into” this. I appreciate the lyrics (usually) and I enjoy the fellowship with the body of Christ collectively glorifying Him But I have trouble really seeing it as true worship on my part, because it lacks the depth of my own private worship. Why is this? Am I afraid of being openly vulnerable? Probably. Does this process seem formulaic as well? Yes, we start church, gear ourselves up for three or four songs, and it is part of the show, to butter you up to be moved by the sermon. Do I have trouble focusing on songs while surrounded by people? Absolutely. Mentally I have incredible trouble focusing on singing in church. I get distracted by people (usually chicks) around me, and to be honest, for some reason my OCD tends to distract me a lot during worship like this as well. So to make it quick, I see the need for public worship in church, like the idea, but personally struggle with it. It lacks the authenticity (I had to work that catch phrase in) of the worship of my private life. I think this is part of the problem.

These concerts to me are very fake or forced expressions of worship, lacking the depth, originality and genuineness of true worship. It is in a sense, a forced experience. Perhaps, rather then going to a show and being led, in an entertainment style concert, the same people should try and do this themselves in the privacy of their room.

Another problem is worship is free. It is also very spontaneous at times. (I think this is a huge part of the problem right here) Worship is something so meaningful, so intense, that we are commanded, encouraged and should want to do, that to charge money to do so is to me, an abomination. I could simply state it as, I WILL NOT PAY MONEY TO WORSHIP MY LORD AND SAVIOR. That is the heart of the matter to me. I am sorry, paying 60 bucks to go see Dave Crowder is absurd. And even if the people who go are genuine in their praise, I think it is a shame they cheapen themselves to do so. Do I think Jesus would pay to worship? (Besides the temple tax?) I somehow doubt it. In fact, I believe that it was our Lord and Savior who made a whip and cleared the temple of moneymakers. I can’t judge Dave Crowder’s motives, he may be sincere and honest and probably is, but I still think this is wrong.

I saw Shane and Shane once, and it was weird. First of all, their name sounds like a kid’s show shown on weekdays only on Nickelodeon, but I also thought the entire thing felt like something from the twilight zone. This was before they were big. I didn’t really know who they were and granted, I only went because a girl I liked was going, but it was still odd. First they performed some of their own stuff, like a show. Okay, I’m at a concert. Then halfway through, they make this transition into worship that we are supposed to partake in. First I am being entertained, then I am to switch modes and suddenly worship? It did not happen and the whole thing felt completely not right and even hokey.

Lastly, emotionalism. I honestly believe this is a huge part of why people go to these concerts. It gives them a spiritual “buzz” that makes them feel they are closer to God and love Him more. Or maybe rather, they feel they experience Gods love for them more. (Either case they are being selfish and going not to worship the Lord but because of what they get out of it.) I hate this. I hate emotionalism and how sneaky and false it is. How you can trick yourself into feeling anything. I am not trying to but sexist here, but on an aside, I have noticed it is mainly females that get into these worship concerts. They also tend to be more emotional then men. Coincidence? I also see them have the same response to Dave Crowder as they do to a rock star. The dreamy eyes, the lure of musicians, and they say things like, “Oh I love Shane and Shane?” So wait a minute, it is Shane and Shane you are going to love, that you are going to see, not the Lord. I get it. Simply put, if you can get the same feeling from a U2 or Coldplay concert then maybe you should question what is really going on.

Let me quickly address some protests as well. I think one of the great tragedies of Christian culture (besides the fact it sucks) is that it leaves virtually no room for criticism. Who am I to criticize somebody’s music if they are doing their best to use their gifts for God? If even one person does worship God at one of these shows then how can I have the right to criticize that? The Christian culture may be the absolute safest for an artist to work in because, hey, how can I possibly say something is wrong or bad, even if they are not talented or good, if they do their best for the Lord? I have heard this before. My response is that A. Any public art that wishes to be taken seriously as art has to be open to criticism. B. And if what you say is true, then you can never criticize any Christian culture, not the cheesy Jesus junk at Christian bookstores or Carmen and the stuff he craps out and calls music as well.

What about an artist who does their best for God? Isn’t that worship as well. My friend, Andrew mentioned Petra. Were they not worshiping the Lord? THEY were, I wasn’t. The artist who does his/her best for the Lord is worshiping the Lord with their talents, but they are not LEADING others in worship. Someone there might worship the Lord but that was not the intent of the show. I did not go see Petra to worship the Lord, I went to be entertained nor did I consider their music worship, even though their own efforts, in their relationship with God, were worship on their part. (As an aside, I could argue me writing this is an act of worship, yet you are not worshiping the Lord through this, rather I am, you are just reading it and thinking upon it.)

“What about a Christian conference that you pay money for?” asks my brother Michael. This is a good question. Is paying to see Tom Nelson teach Song of Solomon wrong then? I think not because I think there is a subtle yet significant difference here. When you pay to go to a conference, you are paying to get something out of it. Something you take home with you. Usually materials, notes etc but also education and the fact you are usually equipping yourself to be more effective in ministry or in your walk etc. You are paying, in a sense, for a service you get something in return for. These conferences also don’t have the intense, personal devotion of worship usually. If I pay to go see a conference on multimedia in the church, I am paying for a resource. Worship on the other hand is sacrificial and free. You give of yourself to the Lord and not expect anything in return so I believe the issue is different.

I have no problem with buying a worship CD and listening to it in your daily life. It might help you focus more on the Lord in your private time or be used as a tool to keep your mind free of foreign thoughts. I think buying a CD is different. You are paying for production and musicians etc. I think it’s the concerts, the tours, the expensive tickets, the rock star syndrome, the emotionalism, the hoopla and sideshows I have a problem with.

Lastly, I have one more reason I’m against these shows. It’s the fact that I’m also just plain jealous of musicians.

Well there you go folks, let me know what you think. Comments, thoughts etc.

PS. This entry excludes the original keyboard jockey greats like Al Denson. His was some of the most original, meaningful, praise around! I never was so close to God as when I sang "Pharaoh, Pharaoh". In particular the 573 rd time I sang it at Dawson McAllister, in one weekend, was the most moving experience I ever had.