Now that Hurricane Katrina had a little distance let's look at it some more. Here are some real fake articles I made up.
Rich White People Hit By Hurricane As Well! -New York Times
Associated Press- New Orleans, LA. In the wake of the devastation of Hurricane Katrina comes a surprising shock. News reel highlights and photojournalists everywhere captured hundreds of images of the poor, inner city filled with destruction and chaos. Amid that destruction another important fact went unnoticed until recently. In the uptown affluent area known as Audubon Park, old antebellum mansions have sustained serious damage. Porches have fallen over and swimming pools are filled with mud and waste. Hot tubs have been destroyed and private gardens and gazebos have ceased to exist.
"I never thought that a Hurricane would hit us as well. I thought being rich and white, as well as protestant, would protect us from the storm. Now I just don't know what to do." Quotes Nathaniel Beauregard, a sugar refinery owner. "I mean look at this place. My SUV is flooded and useless now. The golf course at the country club is a quagmire. Where will I go to smoke cigars and meet good ole' boys now?"
"I doubt our Southern way of life has been this disrupted since the Civil War," adds his wife, Mirabelle Beauregard. "I thought the government was supposed to prevent this. How could they let this happen to us? I thought our tax breaks protected us. We may have to winter in our summer home in upstate New York. Just the thought makes me shudder!"
Black leaders, naturally, are dubious of the damage. Rev. William Jones of the Canal Street Mission says, "We don't really believe this has happened until we see it. The thought of this happening to the aristocratic southern bougiouse is absurd. We know this storm is all racially motivated and I strongly suspect the government itself went into Audubon Park and caused damage just to hide the fact that the rich were protected."
Indeed, many have long suspected the government of spending millions on the Natural Disaster Defense Networks, a system that costs billions and is aimed at protecting the upper crust of society from such events. There is still however no proof the program really exists.
"Even if they were hit by the storm then of course they got cleaned up first," continued the Rev. Jones.
Mr. Beauregard could only respond in shock, "I agree it seems far fetched but we have suffered from this storm as well. We can only hope to make a quick recovery and get back on track with our lives in time for the ski season." He says as he sips a cocktail in his private helicopter on his way back to New Orleans.
Nation Mourns Dead, Gas Prices. -Washington Post
Associated Press- While the nation was still in mourning over the tragic loss of life during Katrina they were hit with yet another tragedy as well. Gas prices sky rocketed to above three dollars a gallon and in some places close to five. "I can't believe how horrible this is. All of those people died and paid the ultimate price and now here we are paying the ultimate price for gas. It may costs more to fuel up my Hummer then my vacation to Europe." Says Cindy Fox in Beverly Hills.
Many people do not know what to think. "It has really filled me with confusion, first I think the President invades Iraq for oil. Now we have a shortage and I'm mad at him for not doing enough to keep the oil flowing. As a blue state Liberal, I am very out of touch with my inner self." Adds Don Cervok in the Chesapeake Bay Area.
Down in the south they are feeling the pinch as well. "God obviously allowed this to happen for a reason. I think maybe it was his way of saying it's okay for me to skim on my tithe so I can afford my weekly Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks." Says Robert Bland of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, TX. "I will be praying for everyone involved though and hopefully like Job, God will reward us for our suffering in the end." We can only hope He does.
Well those are some of my thoughts on the stupid hypocritical world of America, Katrina and fuel. Now for one more death in New Prussia. I really cannot believe all the great TV Star deaths taking place as of late, yet here is another one.
I even mentioned Get Smart in my last blog on Bob Denver and now Don Adams has passed away as well. This was another show of my youth. It combined my love of stupid comedy with my love of espionage and world domination. Who could forget that comical voice? The shoe phone? The bumbling run in's with the Chief, especially in the cone of silence? And of course who could forget the smoldering beautiful Agent 99, who somehow persevered through it all? Would you believe, nobody? I was surprised (although I should have been) to learn Mel Brooks produced the show. Regardless, Don Adams number, 86, was apparently up. Here to you 86, sorry about that Chief.
Anybody catch the two Get Smart phrases? It will be a very, very bad day in New Prussia if Adam West ever dies. BTW- They are making a Get Smart movie with Steve Carrell as Maxwell Smart, it could be funny or it could be chaos. We will see.
Well that is about it for now. I'll catch you later.
