The Dangers of Playing with Fire.

The time is 10:33 P.M. and for the first time all is quiet. However I still have plenty to say. Today’s topics rage from Wildfires to online dating. I dressed up as the California Wildfires for Halloween. It was hilarious and I will post pictures on Facebook.

Speaking of wildfires I know what caused them: Sex did. You see Tom Nelson said sex is like a fire. In it’s proper place in marriage it like a warm fire in a fireplace. Outside of marriage it becomes like a wildfire that can destroy everything. Therefore, with all these fires breaking out, there must be a lot of people in California having sex outside of marriage. Which is exactly the reason I am moving there.

So my parents and a few other older couples at Firewheel Fellowship Church are now in charge of the senior adults Sunday school class. They met at our house one night to discuss the future of their class as well as what to name it. Now the people in charge of the Sunday school want them to name the class Stage 3, which I think is lame. Instead I have come up with my own list of names for the senior citizens class at church. I think my dad is actually going to read this list at their next meeting.

1. The Sanhedrin

2. Last Call

3. Redeemer Bible Church Garland.

4. Stage 12

5. Senior Moments

6. The Remnant

7. The Viagra 9

8. Sons of Methuselah

I was really surprised to learn that Methuselah and Sanhedrin were both in spell check. Who knew?

I have been really bored with pretty much everything lately (Especially Church) and so I have been messing around with free online dating services. Online dating has become very acceptable in the last few years and to be honest, it’s probably a lot better then some of the systems we have now. I do not plan on partaking in it yet, but I was curious to see what was out there. Along the way I learned a few tips I now pass on to you. Please note these are from a guy’s perspective. Sorry girls.

1. Do not place a picture of you with a friend if your friend is hotter then you. What follows is the thought process for us guys…”DAMN! She’s hot!” then we realize that is the friend, not you and it’s “damn, it’s a friend.” Then we become friends with you just to reach your hot friends, which creates one big mess. It’s just all around a bad idea.

2. Naming your self. Ok you have to pick a name and some subtitle but it seems many girls do not understand the art to this. If you put a name like BTCHGODDESS or TXBTCH, which I have seen, no guy in his right mind will message you. Very few guys think “oh sweet! A total bitch that will be egotistical, selfish and treat me like crap! Just what I wanted!” Usually we look for kind loving gals.

3. Alternately, do not name yourself TOTALHOTTIE4U or HOTNTXS, if you are not a total hottie. It just isn’t cool and no one will take you seriously. Plus liars go to hell.

4. Some of these women scare guys off before we even see your profile. Phrases like ‘lonely and looking” “Awake at night dreaming” “Desperate for Mr. Right” and other phrases just smack of emotional instability and to many episodes of Oprah. Very few guys want to jump into a co-dependent relationship and no guys have subtitles reading: “looking for lonely and desperate.”

5. Here is another bit of advice. Most of these profiles include comments about how these women want to be treated seriously and with respect. However, the first thing you see is their profile picture with tons of cleavage hanging out everywhere in a low cut shirt, spaghetti strap shirt with high cut mid-rift as well. Yeah, nothing say treat me with respect like showing off your body to a guy to get attention.

6. Don’t mention that you just got out of a relationship. I have read some that actually say, “Just broke with boyfriend of _ years. Looking to date etc…” Yeah, REALLY healthy signals your sending there princess.

Speaking of which, don’t call yourself a princess either. While you may deserve to be treated like one, it comes across as pretty arrogant to be calling yourself that. I know, I call myself a Czar, but that is totally different.

Now there is an issue that is absolutely demanding to be dealt with in my blog next week. It has risen to a crisis level and I cannot ignore it any longer. I speak of course of the broadcast refuse known as Dancing with the Stars. Until then, look for me online as LONELYHOTCZAR4U.