The time is 4:18 and I am listening to Mason Jennings. I was introduced to his music by my friend Andrew during our trip to Gettysburg. Fun times and good memories, but that is a thing of the past. We are here to talk about the present. So let’s dive on in.
My plummet to the Dark Side has spiraled well out of control. Not THAT dark side, I finished that Journey years ago. I mean the other Dark Side, the Yuppie side. Ironically my path to yuppiedom parallels closely with my journey down metrosexual lane as well.
I mean it started off innocently enough. I graduated college and went to Watermark church in Dallas. A few feeble first steps. Then I moved to the O.C. That’s one small step for yuppies, one giant leap for yuppie-kind. I then got an 8-5 marketing job that entails meeting various people in banking, real estate and accounting. Yep, another big check mark on the yuppie list.
I also bought a bunch of professional clothes. Some were even designer names. Check. I am in the singles group at church, another check. But the biggest step by far, the real killer, happened a month or so ago.
You see, I moved to Irvine, CA. If the O.C. is the yuppie kingdom then Irvine is the capitol. I mean this place is like out of desperate housewives or something. Everything is squeaky clean. I hate it, and I love it.
I love it because I have to admit, as far as neighborhoods go it is really pretty and would probably be a great place to raise kids. All the neighborhoods are perfect and well maintained. All the houses are Spanish style and contemporary. In fact, Irvine’s motto is Live, Work and Play. It should read live, work, play and die. They don’t want you to ever have to leave the area. They do a nice job though. Irvine ranks in the top 10 in nearly every good category a city could imagine. Crime, education, jobs etc. There is no night life, everything closes at 10:00, nothing to disturb the pretty little neighborhoods. Even airplanes at John Wayne Airport can’t take off or land after 11:00 P.M. or before 7 A.M. It’s flawless
Everyone is trying hard to look the part. Like they are successful and have it together. Lexus’s, BMW’s and Infinities line the streets dotted by the occasional Porsche. Sometimes I want to drive through town, the window down and my middle finger out, sticking it to everyone I see.
Wives are hot, people are in shape and kids have more style then Vogue. But at the end of the day there is no real depth to it.
By moving to Irvine I have nearly completed my journey to the dark side. Fortunately I won’t be able to afford a luxury car for several years, if ever and I am still waiting on my trophy wife. Oh well, some things never change, which leads me to my next section.
De-motivational Posters.
Many of you have seen the web site
www.despair.com. They make all the un-motivational posters and pessimist gear. They have DIY section that lets you upload a picture and put your own caption on it. Me and some friends have been making them and sending them to each other. I will leave you with one I made the other day….
Later.
