On my last post the question of how do we celebrate the holidays in New Prussia? This is an excellent question. While the holidays in New Prussia have yet to be fully defined, several traditions have so far emerged. One, much ale and mead are drunk up by the populace. Good, thick Prussian ale, stolen from Belgium. Two, there is no Father Christmas in Prussia, there is however, somebody much better and much more loved by all. A being so great and majestic and so revered and benevolent it is hard to even imagine. I speak of course of Papa Czar. He has a big Russian hat and rides a war horse instead and wears a cloak. On Christmas Eve he goes around and rewards all good Prussian children with swords, muskets, bayonets, shields, armor and other neat weapons to help them take part in their great Prussian heritage. Which leads us to tradition three, the Yule Time Conquest, where everyone gathers along the border of France, hurls insults at them, and then we recreate the many conquests we have had over them. Afterwards we return home to more Ale. This sounds like a fine holiday to me and one any good citizen of Prussia would enjoy.
And Now...
More Great Moments in OCD History:
1. I was at the nursing home Christmas party a few days ago when this peculiar festive obsession occurred. They were serving punch out of a bowl with a large dipper. (Or is that ladle?) Anyways, I noticed the guy pouring punch out missed the cup and poured it all over his hand. This would have been okay except the fact his hand was over the punch bowl and it all trickled down over his fingers and back into the punch bowl. This guy was the program director and was setting up tables and chairs and shaking hands with people earlier as well. Needless to say this turned the punch into a seething stew of virulent infections. A moment later my Dad asks me if I wanted punch. Despite all odds I went ahead and said yes. Anxiety set in but I had just eaten and needed a drink so I decided to just ignore it. Anxiety set in immediatly as my dad brought back the festering cup of plague and set it before me. I swallowed hard, picked it up and drank it down. I'm waiting for the toxicology report to come back and tell me how many diseases I have.
2. This is something I think it hilarious and tragic and all rolled up together. As some of you know, I was working at Sears for a little while. Well, what you may not know was that it was in the vacuum department. Now people with OCD often have a thing about floors and dirt and germs. Think of all the junk on floors, all the dirty shoes walking across it, all the bugs and in our case mice, around. Think of all the nasty junk collected in vacuums and here I am, OCD boy being asked to demo and sale Vacuums! This included pouring dirt out, vacuuming it up, picking stuff out of the beater bar when it jammed (GROSS!) and unclogging vacuums brought back in (Equally as Gross). Every day after work I would scrub my hands down like a surgeon. Needless to say it was a trying experience but oh, the irony of it all! I'm surprised I made it as long as I did.
Well everyone, that's about all I have for now. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all. Screw Kwanza
P.S. Here is a picture of Papa Czar.
