Saturday, March 25, 2006

Two Deaths and Would You Like that Decaf?

Greetings everyone, it is 7:00 P.M. and I am listening to KT Tunstall. Much has happened in my “life” the last week or so. Well not much really, mainly I got a job. Now I know you are dying to find out where, so I won’t hold back, I’m now a proud Barista of the fabled Starbucks company. I work at the Casa Linda location at Buckner and Garland Road. For those of you who know me you know I love the independent artistic coffee shops the most, but there aren’t any of those around here so I am at the SB. Anyways, it isn’t a bad job, not yet, and Starbucks hooks their employees up, also we wear green aprons and green as we all know, is my power color so it is kind of cool. In response to David’s posting, I have often thought of a website but I don’t content wise if I have enough stuff yet. I am taking a multimedia class and we are getting into HTML and web design so I might end up doing one soon.

Nipped in the Bud- Well there was another death in New Prussia. I must admit it has been a few months since we have had one and I was beginning to feel safe in the land of the living only to have the dark wings of death come and swoop it all away. This death happened a couple weeks ago but since I am so far behind in my blogging (as always) I will post it anyways. This outstanding rerun hero lived in the iconoclast town of Mayberry. This show was huge and loved by all and came to represent all that America was. Of course I am talking about Barney Fife from the Andy Griffith show. That’s right. Don Knotts passed into the great beyond and I can just now bring myself to talk about it. His nervous energy and weird antics were a childhood inspiration. I even had a shirt with him on it at one point. Not only the Andy Griffith show though, but who could forget the movies? I mean who could forget the Apple Dumpling Gang or The Incredible Mr. Limpit? Anyways, here’s to you, Don, nip it in the bud.

God tired of waiting on U.N.

The Hague, Netherlands- In what can only be described as an act of divine judgment former Serbian ruler Slobodan Milosevic was found dead in his prison cell with only fifty hours of testifying left in his trial. The news sent a wave of shock and suspicion throughout Europe. Milosevic had been in prison since the late 1990’s and had been on trial for four years. Many suspected foul play or revenge and an investigation began. That was until a celestial being cleared up the matter.

Gabriel, archangel and spokesman for God the Almighty, held a press release in which he stated, “The U.N. has had their chance to bring justice to this matter. The trial has taken four years and God was tired of waiting on your petty human institutions. He, the Almighty, decided to bring justice to all the thousands of innocent Croatians that were butchered by Milosevic.” He went on to add that the cries for justice from the graves of thousands of innocent dead were so loud that something simply had to be done. “No one in heaven could enjoy a peaceful eternity with all that ruckus.” He also added.

It is true that the U.N. had come under much fire for it slow and time consuming process of litigation. Milosevic had been in prison for several years before the trial even began, and it has gone on four years since then. To many it appeared a mockery of justice.

The U.N. was in shock at the pronouncement and tried to subpoena God to see if this was true. God merely refused to be subpoenaed and it is feared many earthquakes will result from the presumptuous attempt.

“If this is true, that God brought this death it could constitute a serious undermining of human will.” Stated U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan, who is also under a cloud of suspicion for taking bribes. “We believe in justice and fairness in our world that no one has the right to interfere with.”

Gabriel rebutted saying “For all the talk of human rights and justice, the U.N. system is sure slow in bringing it about. We in heaven are just glad these aren’t the same guys who handled Nuremberg.”



Well , thats about it for now folks. Catch ya later.

2 comments:

Andrew McMahan said...

I would like to see the nervous little German U.N. intern who had to go to heaven and deliver God the subpoena papers. Man, that would suck.

Anonymous said...

all I can say...is that I'm sad you told the WWW where you worked. Now, you have to at least hesitate before posting "work" or "stupid customer" stories. And if your SB is anything like some of my other friend's, there WILL be things to talk about.