Graduation Day.

Well, last week I graduated so I took a week off from blogging. Also for the first time since I started this blog I don' t think I have a song in my head. Anyways, getting through college is probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done. The next greatest thing I will ever do is pay off my debt. Seriously though, with all the battles with depression and stuff along the way, I thought I would never get there, but God has been extremely faithful and good to me and I now write to you as an official graduate of the University of North Texas. To think I was only .3 decimals away from graduating with honors! Oh well, better luck next time.

I also noticed all of the honors students and graduate students got to wear all sorts of cool ribbons and tassels and things around their necks. Some red, some green, some who knows what colour. I had a really funny thought that I should wear a red and yellow House Griffendorf scarf from Harry Potter when I walked across stage. I think it would have gone over really well.

One more thing that needs discussion. The guest speaker, some guy that set up the Arts and Sciences advising office, gave the opening speech. Then we had to sing Auld Lang, or whatever it is called, and he asked us to do the gayest thing ever. (By gay I don't mean homosexual. I mean gay as in, not cool or very un-guy like.) He asked that on the last verse of the song, we all cross arms and hold hands with the people next to us and sway back and forth. Most of the people did, albeit looking around sheepishly while they did so. I, however, was on the history aisle, which was all guys. We merely looked at each other with a look that said "there is not a snowball's chance in hell I am doing this." So we all just stood there thinking how ridiculous it all looked. Despite our aloof demeanor it was still better then performing the bizarre ritual. It was like something out of the cheesy Dawson McAllister conferences I went to in Junior High.

We had a party later that night and everyone made predictions of where I would be in the future. Only one had me married. My brother and two of my really good friends growing up came to town. We had a blast hanging out, just like old times, and took some really weird pictures as well. My friend Nicole got to witness a very different side of me. Amber, in regards to your post, next time I graduate I will invite you to my party.

That being said, I have a history degree. What can you do with a history degree? Here are some of the most common things.

-Make history.
-Rewrite history to fit your own skewed view of the world.
-Make a paper airplane out of it.
-Be bitter about why you didn't choose a more lucrative degree.
-Hit on chicks with lines like "If Henry the 8th saw you, he would have never committed murder or been divorced" or "you're as beautiful and priceless as a Ming Dynasty vase," or even "Yeah, I took a class on the history of romance, you want me to show you what I learned?"
-Make a paper boat out of it.
-Argue over the exact location of the Mason-Dixon
-Annoy others on vacation with you as fill their heads with useless anecdotes about every location you visit.

Well, that's just a short list of the many things you can do with this versatile degree.


I better go. Just a quick update. Maybe I'll post some graduation pics later.

P.S. For those of you who don't know, I wasn't even close to graduating with honors. Instead of .3 away it was more like 3.0 away.

The Most Serious Entry Since......Well, My First One

I currently have no song stuck in my head since I am listening to Damien Rice and he fills my head instead. And now for some darkness.

Ladies and Gentlemen, for those of you have been following, you may know I have been trying to move to New York. That is now no longer the case. I repeat, New York is a no go. Nadda, zilch, not gonna happen, the big zero, negatory, nyet, and other negative words. Notwithstanding a miracle anyways. So don't ask if I'm still planning on going, and this really leaves me with nothing.

So much for dreaming big, taking risks, not settling for a mundane life and all that other crap. (I know this doesn't mean I will have a mundane life, I just mean for now.) I can wax some eloquent blasphemy on my thoughts about prayer and God and His will and all right now but I guess I won't. So where does this leave me? Stuck in piss-ant Denton.I feel as though, at this moment, I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. Sure, there exists vague, murky promises of potential relationships someday, moving off someday, doing something someday. But that is all in the cloudy and obscure specter of someday. What now? I had nothing else planned.

I could move to Dallas. Whoopee. In fact, I am interviewing for a job soon. If I get this job it will be better to stay here in Denton. So Dallas is out of the question right now. I am in Denton...sweet Moses that's exciting.
I spent the last six months deliberately not meeting girls because I figured I would be moving off. Nice thought. I have also spent the last 5 years in Denton and we see how that has turned out.
I have no money from not working most of the summer. I have no car because mine was destroyed. Yes I have family and friends here. God would provide friends wherever I go though.
So now the question is, did I bring this on myself. I tried to find a job all summer but it didn't happen. Did I not try hard enough? Was I to lazy? There must have been somewhere I could have worked. Was it Proverbs, " A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands, and poverty will come on you like a bandit, scarcity like a armed man?" Or was this God's way of keeping me from going up to NY and making some mistake? I tend to always lean to the argument that blames me. Of course, I would blame myself for Pearl Harbor if I could.

So now where do I go and what do I do? I am graduating on Saturday, with a degree in history when I think I want to do something in media. (Actually I think all I want to do is write.) And like I said, I feel I have nothing to look forward to. This is supposed to be a fun and exciting time in life but instead it is just depressing and anxiety producing and in the end it just isn't worth it. Screw it all.

I know there are verses in the Bible about God's plans and all. Spare me the references. And while your at it, spare me the sentimental encouraging BS as well. To sum it all up, here are some pictures by Goya, one of my favourite artists, to describe how I feel.






Well, you get the picture. At least football season is almost here.

Speaking of Dreams: I had a really strange dream the other night. I dreamed I was a country music star that really wanted to be a rock star. I was in a concert wearing tight jeans, a hat and a Garth shirt. As the concert progressed I kept trying to play more and more rock on my guitar instead of country. I tried to sneak it in, so to speak. The audience wouldn't go for it though. It was weird.

Anyway, I know things aren't as bad as I think they are. I just wanted to get it out. See you at the party Saturday, I'm sure I'll be feeling better by then.

These Old Bones...

Hello everyone. First of all, I have Everlong, by the Foo Fighters stuck in my head for some wierd reason. Secondly, I went horseback riding last weekend with a friend of mine. Here is a pick of me pretending to be an urban cowboy. The horse was named T.J. and I decided that wasn't Czar-ish enough so I said T.J. stood for Tyberious Jupiter.
I also had the urge to pretend I was a Rohirium in the Lord of the Rings, charging down Orcs at the Battle of Pelanor Fields, brandishing my sword and performing deeds that would be sung of for ages. Then I also pictured myself charging down French soldiers instead and laughed as they fled in horror before me, which was just as amusing to me. At that point my horse really did start to gallup and I nearly wet myself as reality set in. It was fun none the less.

I wish to say that lately I have noticed a very strange thing happening to me. I have been getting old. How do I know this you may ask? Well, keep reading for I present to you...

Top Reasons You Know Your Getting Old.

1. It is Friday or Saturday night and you have absolutely nothing to do but stay home and play video games or read- and you don't really care anymore, you are perfectly fine with this.

2. You can no longer stay out past midnight without being exhausted the next day. In fact you begin to shun events that would keep you out past midnight and even make up lame excuses to your younger friends.

3. Your bowels have declared a Jihad on you. Enough said.

4. You meet a girl and think, "she is probably to young for me", and she turns out to be 22.

5. You throw a party and don't really care who shows up anymore. None of this, "who is going to be there?" or "what are we going to watch?" you just have fun with whomever shows up.

6. You are slowly but surely going bald. I hope this only applies to guys.

7. You no longer like any stations on the radio except Talk Radio, KLUV, or Sunny 97.

8. You get your but kicked by Junior highers playing Halo 2.

9. You find yourself needing exercise just to create energy.

10. You forget things a lot easier and can't think of good items to finish off your list you make on your blog.

These are all things I more or less have experienced to some degree. So I must face the music that I am getting old. In fact, the big 30 is just around the corner and I am near the home stretch. With all the bowel aches, head aches, allergies and whatever else I might have by the time I marry, I should just open a gift registry at the local pharmacy. I will probably be so old that instead of throwing rice on the way out you can just throw Viagra. You can also decorate my walker instead of my car.

Moving On: Two more notable deaths in the last couple of weeks.

1. Gen. Westmoreland passed away on July 18th, 2005. For those of you who care, he was the General in charge of the U.S. Military in Vietnam up through 1968, when he stepped down. The whole mess of Vietnam is generally not considered his fault. He now joins the 60,000 American soldiers who died in the fighting.

2. James Doohan, i.e. "Scotty" from Star Trek passed away on July 20th. Now, I have a few things to say about this. First of all I feel that he has had an indirect influence on my life. I was never a Star Trek fan growing up, except for the movies. I still remember my Dad taking me and brother, along with our friends across the street, to see Star Trek 2, the Wrath of Khan, when it came out. But being as big of a Sci-Fi lover as I am, I have to give Star Trek it place in the Sci-Fi Hall of Fame. Also many of my good friends were/are Trekies so I feel that he has been of some influence on me, even if indirectly. Besides, who couldn't admire the likes of James Kirk, Spock, Bones , and Scotty and the rest? Ironically enough Scotty was not Scottish. For his funeral his casket was launched into space from the Photon Torpedo bay of a spaceship. (Pop quiz...anyone know what movie that is from?)

Well that's about it for now. I declare this my nerdiest blog to date, I better rein it in. It's almost eleven so I better go to bed soon, getting old you know.

A Mighty Wind Doth Bloweth

Hurricane Dennis just hit the Florida panhandle a few weeks ago. Now Emily just got done in Mexico. It seems to me every headline I see about hurricanes uses the terms hammers, slams or devastates whatever unfortunate land mass it hits and quite frankly, I am tired of it. I think the fact that it is a hurricane pretty much implies the fact it is hammering or slamming into something. I believe it is time for the media to be more creative with their verb usage as well as be more culturally relevant. That being said I have come up with a list of words I think would be much better. Picture these in the news.

-Hurricane Denzel Pimp Slaps Miami.
-Puerto Rico Just Got Served By Hurricane Esmeralda.
-Hurricane Bubba Opens Up A Can of Whoop On Mobile Alabama.
-Hurricane Fidel Is Hatin' On Key Largo.
-Hurricane Heather Tears Jamaica A New One.
-Hurricane Ferguson Ridicules Atlantic Coast.
-Hurricane Basil Gives Charleston the Old What-For.

Well you get the idea. That's probably enough for now. I could throw in some more random words to such as keeps it real, marinates, deep fry's, screws over, goes to town, owns or apologizes.
That being said, hammered and slammed are perfectly acceptable adjectives if you're referring to the effects of the alcoholic kind of Hurricanes.

On a slightly different note I think they need to change the names of hurricanes. They start with letter A every year and alternate male and female names. That is fine. What isn't fine is that most names don't live up to the storms hype. I mean, does Emily, Allison, Charlie or Dennis really sound like an all powerful storm? I think not. This is why we need to change them to more appropriate names. I move all Hurricanes be given German or Norse names. Like this.
- Adolf, Bjorn, Carsten, Dirk, Eva, Frigga, Gretchen, Hallerna..etc.
See how much better those sound? Of course you would have jump ahead a few and add Ragnor, Sven and Thor. Hurricane Thor just sounds cool.

Alternately, and this is the more likely scenario, they could license out naming rights to celebrities or corporations, much like stadiums do.

- Hurricane Dale Earnhart Crashes Into Tallahasse.
- Hurricane Home Improvement Cause For Massive Repairs.
- Hurricane Bacardi Rum Parties in Cancun.
- Hurricane Prozac Reduced to Tropical Depression.
- Hurricane W.C.W. Smacks Down Myrtle Beach.

Well that is probably all I can really think of right now. Merry Christmas.

P.S. I might add a picture to this later on.

I issue an apology- and Czar's don't apologize often.

Ok...it is painfully obvious to me that I am behind on my blogs. Does this make me a bad blogger? Yes. Does this make me an evil and disgusting person? Probably. Anyway, I attribute this to three or so factors. 1. Sears- I have a part time job at Sears right now and every evening when I leave my internship I go in for training. This is normally the time I would blog. 2. Life-I am trying to get my resume and other official stuff together-more time I would normally blog. 3. Settlers of Catan Online- ok...I am addicted to this little game. Every evening I turn on my computer only to find one of my friends online offering to play against me. How can I resist? 4. Social Life- Ok..my social life is somewhat suspect but it has taken its toll. For instance, I was busy every night this weekend with stuff going on. I guess this all goes to say that I have been pretty busy lately and my blogs take time. Especially if I photoshop something etc. I will do my best to have one soon. I am not going to bother proofing this entry so get over any mistakes in it.

PS. I have also found that just keeping up with everyone else's blogs has taken a lot of time as well. I am now trying to read 7 or 8 of them.